I recently got a call from a nursery leader who went on vacation and came back to find her class had been a vortex of chaos in her absence. Actually, it wasn't that bad. But her mild-mannered assistant, who grew up during an era when spanking was an appropriate form of schoolroom discipline, had swatted the backside of a perpetually aggressive nursery child.

This mode of discipline was uncharacteristic of their nursery and everyone involved wasn't sure how to react. The parents of the spankee were fairly new to the ward and no one was certain of their personal philosophies on redirecting their son's aggression.

Upon hearing a description of the spanking incident from a substitute assistant Sunday night, the Primary president chose to call the nursery leader for advice before informing the parents. Some involved in the analysis of the "situation" hoped the parents would be OK with the one-time method of strict discipline, others were worried the family would be appalled and leave the ward with their testimonies in the dust.



In defense of the spanker, apparently, it worked. The boy settled down and the parents did not need to be disrupted from other classrooms in the church.

While the chemistry of every nursery is unique and continually evolving, it doesn't hurt to have a standard discipline plan in place for all to understand and act upon. Every primary presidency and nursery teams should have a discussion concerning the following:

• Are criers delivered to their parents or kept in the room for the duration of class?
• What if a child bites another child?
• Are time-outs acceptable in nursery?
• How do you handle the bossy nature of an older 3-year-old?
• Are there enough toys in the closet to help avoid sharing problems?
• Do you have enough adults in the room to give one-on-one attention when necessary?
• Would your aggressive toddler respond better to a male volunteer?
• How long should parents be encouraged to stay with their unhappy child?
• Should physically aggressive children be banned from nursery?
• Is nursery attendance a privilege or a right?

The church's new nursery manual offers general counsel on some of these issues. On page six of "Behold Your Little Ones," emphasis is placed squarely on the idea that nursery should be a very safe place. It suggests if a child starts to play roughly -- throwing, swinging or pounding toys -- then a leader needs to intervene immediately. The leader should lovingly explain that the child cannot play roughly, then redirect play and praise appropriate behaviors.

Some would agree that discipline is entirely unnecessary if the nursery leader is effectively keeping the children engaged in activities, singing times and age-appropriate lessons. Most agree that problems occur when free play with toys runs long.

I knew of one nursery leader who considered it a failure on her part to even get the toys out of the closet. She planned group activities from beginning to end and kept her nursery kids busy for every minute of class.

While a good plan doesn't always trump disobedience, most toddler wanderings can be corrected with gentle redirections and distractions. Those tiny kids want to please, they want to be independent and sometimes it's frustrating or confusing for them to reconcile all their emotions, much less communicate them.

So whether the children are having a good day or bad, it's up to nursery leaders to help them be safe and secure in our midst.