How long has it been since you wrote your sweetheart a love letter? With recent news of Gov. Mark Sanford's "extramarital e-mails" I couldn't help but wonder how his life would be different if he had invested the same time and energy into writing love letters to his wife.

Certainly it can take more effort to feel those romantic feelings toward one's spouse when many years of marriage have passed, but it is simply a matter of where we put our time, effort and attention that counts, for love is an action. Feelings follow -- not lead.

Always be on guard

For now, suffice it to say that all couples ought to be aware of extramarital temptation,
as temptations can occur to anyone, especially given the right set of circumstances.

Our responsibility as married couples is to do what it takes to minimize precarious circumstances. Couples must always be on guard.

One way to stay out of dangerous territory is to keep your thoughts on your spouse. Thoughts are the first step toward actions. We may all benefit from the exercise of penning words of love and admiration to our spouse.

I imagine my husband might wonder what's up for me to write a love letter to him when it isn't his birthday or our anniversary. But I imagine he'd get over it fairly quickly!

Love letter challenge

My challenge to all of us is to write some loving thoughts about your spouse, to your spouse. I invite you to practice by writing and sending (anonymously) a sample to my Web site, strengtheningmarriage.com.

Stir the longing

Maybe it might help to imagine that your spouse has been away for some time for a work assignment or is far away serving in the military. Stirring up the longing that such circumstances might invite may get your romantic feelings flowing. This mental exercise is the key to keeping our thoughts in check -- keeping our actions in check as well.

Let the poet in you go

In taking my own advice I was a bit surprised to find tears coming to my eyes as I allowed the greater depth of thought and emotion to surface. From a place of genuine love, your words will resonate well with the intended one. Let the poet in you go.

Feel free to bring out the thesaurus, if helpful, to create depth to your words and let your feelings flow. You may find some additional helps for writing your love letter here.

Happy letter writing!