My knee-jerk reaction to stories like the one featured on last week's cover of Time magazine -- headlined "The State of the American Woman: A new poll shows why they are more powerful -- but less happy" -- is to shake my head knowingly as I think about some of the things I don't like about feminism in general. (Like, for instance, its initial tacit implication that in order for women to have worth they had to be just like men.) But it's not really that simple, is it?

After all, much of that newfound "power" Time was talking about -- based on data from a Rockefeller Foundation/Time survey of gender issues -- comes from things like gains in pay, reaching higher levels of education and professional success, and living longer. Say what you will, but in my book those are all good things.

Clearly, as a woman who's supported by no one but herself, it's very important to me that my work won't be undervalued based on my gender, and that I'll have access to the best educational opportunities out there and the potential to excel in my career. And it's quite likely I wouldn't have those things without the feminists whose ideologies I don't personally always want to get behind.

So, OK; I'll grudgingly admit that feminism has been valuable -- even necessary. What I don't understand is why some people seem surprised that it's not leaving us any happier than we were before.

It's not just Time magazine; Maureen Dowd wrote a similar piece in The New York Times last month, citing General Social Survey findings that while men are progressively getting happier, women's emotional state is heading in the opposite direction.

If all this is news, it must mean we were expecting a different result, right? So, for example, does that mean conventional wisdom says a woman would be inherently happier working outside the home than she would be as a stay-at-home mom?

While I'm sure there are women for whom that's true, I also think the opposite is true for others. And it's also unquestionably true that no matter which front a woman has chosen to make her primary work, she will have days when she wishes she could do something else.

I've known mothers who adore their children and lives, yet have frequent moments of longing for glimpses of a different world. And I've known women in successful careers who can't help the occasionally idyllic daydream of planning out a month's worth of healthy, creative dinners and having afternoon snacks waiting for the kids when they get home from school.

Maybe it was the mere fact that we had more options that was supposed to make us happier. I imagine there's a good argument there, but I think it's also possible that the general sense of unhappiness we women are apparently feeling in the wake of nearly 40 years of feminism is a product of the crashing reality that, no matter what we may have heard, and despite all our options, we still can't have it all. No matter what we choose, it will inescapably come at the cost of something else.

Or perhaps the win-lose phenomenon here would be better revealed by the gospel aspect of the debate, which is far less concerned with how a person wants to spend their time, with where they'd rather be, than it is with what will serve a greater overall good -- whatever that may be and however it may be done. Perhaps the problem is that ever since feminism helped give women greater access to more worldly roles, we've collectively spent a lot less time losing ourselves in the service of others.

While that's certainly not true of every working woman, as a general trend I'd be willing to bet it would stand up to scrutiny. And that's not very happy.

None of which, mind you, is really feminism's fault; it just comes as no surprise to me to hear that the movement didn't end up being the key to happiness.

See, as tantalizing as it may be to think that happiness comes as the product of a social movement, or a career, or limitless opportunities, it's still not the truth. Happiness lies a lot deeper than that, and it's very often tied up in things that have very little to do with us.

Which is probably why I flipped through my issue of Time this week, raised my eyebrows at some of the statistics, nodded approvingly at others, then went on to the Arts section. It's interesting, important stuff, feminism, I'm just not sure why anybody ever believed it was the ticket to happiness.