Despite a distracting strip of partner Kym Johnson's dress coming loose, despite posting the lowest total score for the week, and despite the fact that he hasn't seen multiple 10s since week five's Argentine tango, Donny Osmond is going to shake it in the "Dancing with the Stars" finals.

So, "Star" gazers, do we pack away our bottles of spray tan, shelve our sequins and stop wondering what a fleckerl* is until next season because Donny came and did what he set out to do -- tie baby sis, Marie, for third place?

Or could Donny actually waltz away with a win?

Pull your fringed pants back on and grab your paddles because we are about to crack open the "Ultimate Strategizer's Dancing With the Stars Super-Guide, 2009 Edition," which suggests the answer to that question is an enthusiastic "yes."

He's got a pro, not a con

The Mormon entertainer is in capable hands when it comes to cheerful pro Kym Johnson (and her delightful Australian accent). Even though Kym has yet to dance a star into first place, she was runner-up with NSYNC refugee Joey Fatone in Season 4 and football star Warren Sapp in Season 7.

Both Fatone and Sapp were "entertainers" on the show, much like Donny, demonstrating the same drive and good-natured, self-deprecating humor.

Donny's edge, however, is that he is arguably more familiar than either Fatone or Sapp.

So let's say that Kym has, at the least, another second place in her to give....

Last the best of all the game?

This week, Donny and Kym did something fairly admirable: They posted the lowest scores, they danced first, and they still made it into the finals.

This could only happen to a fan favorite. Seriously.

I have no statistics to back me up on this (that is a "worthwhile" project left for another day), but from haunting the nooks and crannies of cyberspace, it seems to be the consensus that, as order goes, you're better off dancing later -- preferably last -- in the show.

A lot of people wait until the show's end before they vote. Whoever danced last, presuming it wasn't a train wreck, has the advantage of being freshest in the mind. How many times have you watched the "recap of tonight's dances" and said to yourself "oh, that's right" when the first few couples are recapped because you couldn't quite recall what dances they did, or the song they danced to, or their names.

Am I kidding? Only a little. Because Donny and Kym were first on the dance floor for their efforts this week, they will either dance second or third next week for the finals. Survey says singer Mya and partner Dmitry Chaplin likely will go first owing to getting the sweet spot -- the last spot -- this week.

Question: Will the producers decide to end the penultimate episode of Season 9 with an Osmond -- or an Osbourne?

Freestyle: Do or die, but never 'doll'

If "Dancing with the Stars" has taught us anything, it's that it really, truly comes down to the final dance -- the freestyle routine -- right before people turn off their televisions and sashay to the nearest phone. Granted, some people know which couple they're going to vote for, no matter what, but many others (myself included) like to wait and watch each star and pro's closing argument.

Let's take a flying DeLorean back to the Season 2 finale when leggy wrestler Stacy Keibler, a definite judge's (Bruno) favorite, and partner Tony Dovolani hit the floor with a lackluster "Stayin' Alive" freestyle that was eclipsed by 98 Degrees refugee Drew Lachey and partner Cheryl Burke's lift-tacular, campy cowboy number.
 
Not even a flawless samba on results night could catapult Keibler to second place -- her freestyle sealed her bronze-colored fate. Jerry Rice took home the "Stars" silver, Lachey the gold.

Note to Donny and Kym: Don't hold back. Keibler and Dovolani hesitated, nervous about her height and pulling off lift after lift. Don't let Donny's oldest-competitor-still-in-competition story arc stop you from leaving it all on the floor.

Let's take a glance at what went wrong for Marie Osmond at the end of Season 5. Despite pulling in the lowest totals for the last few weeks of the competition, the fan vote put Marie into the semifinals and then the finals. Sounds promising, right?

Alas, memories of Marie's charming dances, like both her throwback quicksteps, were erased when she and partner Jonathan Roberts chose to craft a freestyle routine that went something like this: Marie as a human-sized baby doll coming to life via Jonathan's giant wind-up key.

Instead of dialing in votes, we were still sitting on our couches, scratching our heads.

Note to Donny and Kym: The camp-factor didn't exactly "sell" during your 80s-inspired paso doble. Keep it glitzy and energetic, but take a lesson from Marie and stay far away from kitsch. Far, far away.

(So would a drumline-heavy "Soldier of Love" freestyle fall flat or being a surprise success? Discuss.)

And with that -- shameless alliteration, dance lingo and all -- tune in Monday, Nov. 23, at 7 p.m. on ABC/Ch. 4 to see if, on Tuesday, Donny will indeed be holding the highest honor reality TV dancing show's about celebrities being paired with professionals can give: The elusive Mirrorball trophy.

* Author's note: A "fleckerl" -- apparently a favorite step of head judge Len Goodman -- is "a dance step, most commonly found in the Viennese Waltz. Unlike the natural and reverse turns, the fleckerl does not move forwards along the dance floor but instead rotates on the spot." Ah, but of course.

E-mail: eschmuhl@desnews.com